Nov 8, 2006

My Reviews of Japanese Stuff, Part I

Well, that last post was sort of negative. I'm actually having a great time here, and to lighten the mood just the little, I'd like to unveil the first in what I'm hoping to be a series of installments which I call My Reviews of Japanese Stuff. Aren't I a clever title-maker? Well, let's start off with...


So, I'm basically addicted to coffee. Since about sixth grade, actually. I've tried to kick the habit, several times, but always coffee comes back, like some coquettish old flame. Or like a chemical dependency. Take your pick.
Anyway, I was kind of hoping that going to Japan would be the one thing that finally allowed me to spurn my old love- A dramatic departure that once and for all banished my fiendish addiction, simply because coffee would not be available here. But it was not to be. Coffee was waiting for me here in Japan, albeit in a neverbeforedreamed location.
See, you can get most anything from Japanese vending machines.
At first, I was kind of dubious. Holding the small circular (and heated!) can before me, I steeled myself for something that I was sure would taste something almost, but not entirely, exactly unlike coffee. How wrong I was. It was actually damn tasty. Had it been presented to me by a barrista in cup form, I would have had no complaints.
Now, almost every day, I invest a paltry 120 yen into readily available vending machine coffee. Sure, it's not like the fresh brewed stuff that you'd drink during sunday brunch, but it's decently tasty, easy to find, and cheap. I'm hooked.
Oh yeah, and there are lots of Starbucks here. Imagine that.

Trains in Japan are almost always on time, easy to use, and reasonable cheap. Also, they go very fast. I like that.

It's sushi. It's awesome. Duh.

Okonomiyaki is like this kind of Japanese pancake thing made from chopped cabbage and other stuff, fried up right in front of you, and doused in sauce. You can get it with squid, pork, beef, whatever. It's crispy and sizzly, probably bad for you, and best of all there's a great place for it right by my apartment.

Schoolgirl Uniforms
So, I went to a Catholic school for elementary school. It was not pleasant, and I actually had to wear one of those stupid uniforms. Since then, I've been somewhat mystified by the whole "schoolgirl" fetish thing. I remember seeing girls in those uniforms. They were not sexy. At all. They were dumb looking and plaid. And the skirts? Way past the knees. There was not even the suggestion of thighs.
Short plaid and/or pleated skirts (thought me) were purely the province of things pornographic. Actual schoolgirls (thought me) wouldn't ever don such revealing attire. So, to review, my mental layout looked something like this-

Long pleated and/or plaid skirt: "I am the recipient of a parochial education."
Short pleated and/or plaid skirt: "I am so badly wanting 'it.'"

Hahahahaha! Silly me! Schoolgirls here prance around all the time those little sailor-esque uniforms, and all of them seem to don legwear that has heeded MAD Magazine's oft-repeated call of "Up with miniskirts." However, my mental signifiers haven't really adjusted yet. It's like they're some huge cast of a "barely legal" porno, I thought. Don'tlookattheirlegsdon'tlookattheirlegsdon'tlookattheirlegs, I continued to think. But I did. I'm now going to hell when I die. I swear, Charles Bukowski's ghost really is haunting me.
Ok, this wasn't really a review of anything, but it kind of fit here.

More unfounded opinions to come! Wheee!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha ha

fundies. see, in a completely unrelated context it still works. I:m tempted to teach it in a class just because I can.

ok, really I:ve got to get back to work....